The way we conduct ourselves in our personal life mirrors how we conduct ourselves in our business life, and, vice versa.
Relationships in our work and in our home are mirrors of us, because we are the same person whether we are working or at home.
Quote from John Chrysostom, the 4th Century bishop known for his eloquent preaching: "The human family is the primary and essential element of society. Peace in society will be the direct result of peace in the family; order and harmony in the political realm will be a direct result of order and harmony in the home."
If what goes on in one's family has an impact on peace in the world, it attaches a broader meaning to the struggle to resolve conflict in relationships.
I remember one day I was talking to a friend of mine who I love to talk to, because he is very wise, and always gives me a different perspective on looking at the world.
- He said “Never say anything bad about your spouse to anyone, because it makes you look really bad and not very smart, because you are the one married to them; however, when you say good things about your spouse, you look really good, because you are smart enough to have such a wonderful spouse."
I took this to heart and I started thinking: not only is this about a spouse, this is about everyone we have relationships with, including those we work with.
Here are just a few scenarios this could apply to:
Someone starts saying...
I work for a horrible person
I work with horrible people
I have horrible in-laws
I have horrible neighbors
I have horrible children
Saying bad things makes the person saying them look bad, and it looks like they cannot get along with anyone. It does not make the person they are talking about look bad, it actually makes people feel bad for the person or persons being talked about.
"The most important single ingredient in the formula of success is knowing how to get along with people."
– Theodore Roosevelt
5 Ways to Help People "Like" To Be Around You
- Do not try to outshine those around you
- Make others around you look good
- Do extra things that no one expects you to do
- Come up with solutions to problems; do not be the cause of the problem
- Stick up for the people around you
In 2002 USA Today, did a study about what makes people happy. The study found that 85 percent of your happiness comes from your relationships with other people. On the other hand the study found that 85 percent of your unhappiness comes from your relationships with others as well.
We Cannot Expect Anyone to Act Differently Towards Us, Than How We Act Towards Others
To build good relationships we must act exactly how we want others to act with us.
- If we are trustworthy - we set the example for others to be trustworthy towards us
- If we don't judge others - we set the example for others not to be judgmental towards us
- If we don't criticize - we set the example for others not to criticize us
- If we don't talk badly about others - we set the example for others not to talk badly about us
- If we don't break our promises - we set the example for others not to break promises to us
- If we are loyal - we set the example for others to be loyal to us
- If we remember special days or occasions that are important to those around us - we set the example for others to remember special days or occasions that are important to us.
- If we respect others - we set the example for others to respect us
- If we are not selfish to others - we set the example for others not to be selfish with us
- If we don't blame others - we set the example for others not to blame us
- If we don't hold back our love - we set the example for others to give us love
- If we don't get mad and start screaming - we set the example for others not to scream at us
- If we don't lie to others - we set the example for others not to lie to us
- If we are patient - we set the example for others to have patience with us.
We can be the person that we want others to be to us; through leading by example in everything we do; whether it is with our clients, our co-workers, our family or our friends.
Be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other's faults because of your love.
Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others