Thursday, July 2, 2009

Are you over doing it...

Are you over doing it...

Are you over doing it to the point it is affecting your health?

If you get run down and make yourself sick trying to do everything for everyone, how are you going to take care of yourself and those who really need you? And how are you going to be able to work?


Give yourself permission to say "NO MORE! I Tammy Taylorcan only do so much, and that is it".

I have 2 really good friends that I love very much, who tried to do so much for everyone around them that they both got very sick; one could not get out of bed, and the other one was in so much pain she needed to walk with a cane. I knew they were trying to do too much but I thought they would just wake up one day and say "NO MORE"! I am overdoing it; I need to LIMIT my volunteering and trying to help everyone.

But, they did not, and they both ended up getting sick a week apart. When I saw this, I immediately stepped in and did for them what they would not do for themselves; I said "NO MORE". I told them everyone loves them, even if they say "NO" and anyone who gets mad or doesn't love them anymore because they say "NO", than those are probably the same people who made them sick.

I have another friend who has always said "I DO NOT DO ANYTHING I DO NOT WANT TO DO".. I always argued with her, saying that is not how the world is; you just can’t say I don’t do anything I don’t want to do, that is very selfish. But, as I get older, I realize there is a lot of Wisdom in that way of thinking, even though it is not totally practical when you have a family, friends and a job.

  • But, I do think somewhere in the middle of both of these camps of thought, we can find balance.

These are the 2 Extremes:

I said “NO” because I Do Not Do Anything I Do Not Want To Do"…. (We know this is selfish and not practical especially when it is our family, friends or job.)


I said “YES” because they asked me; if I say no, I feel bad because I am afraid I will hurt their feelings or they will be mad at me”. (So, we say “Yes” even though this is very unhealthy for us.)

Neither a strict "NO" nor an easy "YES" is good for us, so we need to find our BALANCE.

And, since our Balance Scale leans more towards saying “YES” too often, we need more practice saying "NO", to Balance us out.

  • Practice saying NO. This is a very important word! Say it as often as you can, just to hear the word come out of your mouth. Say No out loud when you are alone. Practice phrases with NO in them, such as: "No, I can’t do that", or "No, I don’t want to go there." Try it for simple things first; then build your way up to harder situations.

  • Stop saying YES. Try to pause, or take a breath, before responding to someone’s request. You may want to answer requests with "I need to think about it first, I’ll get back to you" or "Let me check my schedule and call you back". Use any phrase that you feel comfortable with, that gives you time before you automatically respond with YES.

  • Take small breaks, even if you feel guilty. You won’t always feel guilty, but most likely in the beginning you will.

  • Walk slowly; to slow down your pace.

  • Discover what gives you pleasure, for example, reading, watching videos, going to a park, and listening to music; then give yourself permission to do those things.

  • Ask someone to help you with something. I know this is a hard one, but you can do it!

Do what you can do, and do what you really want to do; and to the rest say “NO”.

“This holiday weekend would be a perfect time to practice saying "NO MORE" so you can just ENJOY yourself and HAVE FUN!!!”

With love,

Tammy Taylor

For God has not given us a spirit of fear and timidity, but of power, love, and self-discipline.
2 Timothy 1:7 NLV